The Man in the Mirror

A friend of mine pointed out to me recently a big issue that I've been having. I can not seem to find friends or boyfriends because I often confuse the other people I'm with. What my friend pointed out to me was that the reason I confuse a lot of people including potential partners is the simple fact that I confuse myself. I had once said this as a joke to people whenever they said I confused them, "ya I confuse myself." But now I've come to realize this is the most true statement about me. I understand both liberal and conservative political views and rarely find myself siding with either. I am very religious, but rarely do I find myself agreeing with most other Christians. I believe in a healthy lifestyle but don't really enjoy exercising. I want to be a recording artist, yet I rarely listen to contemporary artists and hardly know of any that most other musicians I know speak of. I have many feminine qualities but would not describe myself as feminine or butch, yet I am attracted to both kinds of guys. Some may call me a hypocrite, but I just believe I am not a hundred percent of anything. If everything could be pulsed together in a blender I would be that smoothie. Some would probably like the taste of that smoothie, many would hate it, and those few of you more open minded wouldn't know what to make of it but wouldn't like or dislike it. It's true, I am an acquired taste, a puzzle a mystery. And perhaps its starts when I look in the mirror and don't know what to make of the person looking back at me. I know that there is some way for all those ingredients to work in that smoothie, but I don't exactly know how. I have a rough idea, and for the most part I try not to worry about it. But I still can't help but ask how it all comes together. God has a plan and maybe he'll let me know one day what the hell it is. Until then I am accepting that I am confused by myself and that I have resolve this confusion and get to know myself before I can ever try and get to know someone else.